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Suzanne Somers Week 5 COUGAR HOF Inductee 6.15.09


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Born: Suzanne Marie Mahoney, San Bruno, CA, October 16. 1946 (Age: 62) • Birth Sign: Libra
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Last week I was channel surfing and usually it’s the Spanish channel that stops me dead in my tracks, for obvious reasons. But as I came across the Home Shopping Network, Suzanne Somers was hawking one of her many wares and I could not believe how stunning she looked… and my wife said, “You know that she’s 62.”
For 62 years of age this woman looks phenomenal and is still sexy as hell. We all came to know and love her as Chrissy Snow, the incredibly dim-witted blonde on Three’s Company -- the ditzy babe whose boobies jiggled like Jello in the opening credits. Suzanne battled the stereotype of being a brainless tart for quite sometime, but certainly ended up proving the world wrong. Her Vegas stage show surprised many that she could sing and dance and become a top draw in the desert (guess you can only take Fred Travolina for so long.) Then, remember the amazing Thigh Master? Suzy drove us men crazy with her infomercial antics, as she laid on a gym mat and squeezed her gorgeous gams together for half an hour at a clip. Shwing! But her real claim to fame are the many products she has created and sold on HSN and QVC – jewelry, clothes, cosmetics, and all kinds of female paraphernalia. Okay, yeah, she’s an amazingly bright business-woman, but after six decades on this earthly plain, the lady is still smokin’ hot in my book and a worthy choice as only the 2nd GRANDE COUGARE to be inducted into my hallowed Hall of Fame.

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FACTOIDS ON SUZANNE SOMERS… In September 1964, she was accepted at San Francisco College for Women (commonly referred to as “Lone Mountain College”) on a music scholarship, a Catholic school that is now a campus of the University of San Francisco Initially, got the role of Jill Munroe in “Charlie’s Angels” (1976) but, lost it to Farrah Fawcett-Majors Was fired from “Three’s Company” (1977), in the 1980-81 season, by demanding $150,000 an episode, and 10% ownership of the program, also for breach of contract She was also the brunette walking along the beach of the opening credits of the first 3 seasons of “Three’s Company” and was wearing a wig Was named Las Vegas’ Female Entertainer of the Year in 1986 She and Joyce DeWitt did not speak for almost 20 years Appeared in two Playboy cover feature nude pictorials in 1980 and 1984Somers is the author of the memoir of her unhappy childhood, Keeping Secrets, which was a New York Times best-seller for twenty-one straight weeks

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CAMACHO INTRODUCES 2009 LIBERTY!

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CAMACHO INTRODUCES 2009 LIBERTY!


Miami, FL., July 2, 2009  –  Camacho cigars is proud to announce the NEW 2009 Camacho Liberty. This latest edition was blended by Christian Eiroa as an attempt to debunk the 2005 Liberty, which has been touted as the best Camacho Liberty to date. Read the full story

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Heather Locklear Week 4 COUGAR HOF Inductee 6.8.09


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Born: Heather Deen Locklear, Westwood, CA, September 25, 1961 (Age: 47) • Birth Sign: Libra
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Heather Locklear has always been atop many a man’s list as one of the hottest and most beautiful women alive. And at 47 years old, this seemingly ageless beauty is still one very sexy mama. With that gorgeous face, hair, and stunning body, this elder cat has been heavily requested by the PlanetZman faithful.

The chick digs rockers and was married to two of the finest -- Motley Crue drummer and notorious bad boy, Tommy Lee, and Bon Jovi guitarist extraordinaire, Richie Sambora. But Richie dumped this amazing hottie for their neighbor, actress, Denise Richards. Some guys just can’t get enough fer crissakes. She’s made numerous television appearances and is most famous for four of her well known roles on the shows Dynasty, TJ Hooker, Melrose Place and Spin City. “La Perla lingerie is my thing,” she once told In Style Magazine. “I have a tremendous amount of sexy bras and panties and they’re gorgeous.” I know a fat Polack slug like me will never get a shot at a woman like Heather, but I’d certainly pay top dollar for a whiff of those heavenly garments. (Come on, don’t be an indignant jerk, cause you know that you would too.) To say she is beautiful is a gross understatement as I find myself staring at the photos below for hours on end. Yes, she is a goddess, and a fine inductee into the illustrious COUGAR Hall of Fame.

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FACTOIDS ON HEATHER LOCKLEAR… The daughter of William Robert Locklear, a UCLA administrator, and Diane (née Tinsley), a production executive at Disney She attended UCLA with a major in psychology Locklear landed her first tv role appearing on the show, C.H.I.P.s Other than Tommy Lee and Richie Sambora, Locklear has dated Tom Cruise, Mark Harmon, Scott Baio, Patrick Muldoon and Jason Taylor Was arrested and released in Santa Barbara, California, on September 27, 2008, under suspicion of driving under the influence of a controlled substance She is cousin to Donald Trump’s second wife, Marla Maples In a ‘Parade’ magazine article, the actress admits she is part Native American. She says her last name is very common to members of a tribe called the ‘Lumbee’, and she traces her roots back to that tribe way back on her father’s side. Her Caucasian-dominated looks are attributed to her mother’s Scottish side of the family.

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Christie Brinkley, COUGAR HOF Week 3 Inductee, 6.1.09


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Born: Christie Lee Hudson, Monroe, Michigan, February 02, 1954 (Age : 55) • Birth Sign: Aquarius
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Billy Joel was an ugly troll, an ugly troll was he… Yes that hideous dwarf from Long Island, NY,  once married our fair Christie. Actually, the June 1st inductee has been both married and divorced a total of four times, the most recent to Peter Cook, who was tapping an 18 year old employee and spending two grand a month on porn. Just proves no matter how hot your wife is, men are not built for monogamy.
At 55 years of age, this world famous Super Model is one hell of a gorgeous specimen, and anyone who argues the fact is certifiably of the poofter variety. Back in the late 70’s early 80’s, she made men drool with her three consecutive cover appearances on the Sports Illustrated Swim Suit Edition. Then the blonde honey teased both us, and Clark W. Griswold, as the girl in the Red Ferrari, in the comedy film, National Lampoon’s Vacation. And her most recent claim to fame is on the infomercial circuit, shilling exercise equipment with Chuck Norris. Christie’s financial holdings are worth an estimated $80 million and with those looks and that bank account, what moron of a man would send her packing? Friggin’ idiots! I swear the gal is ageless and just five years from 60, this Golden aged Cougar is utterly spectacular. And I say to you with utter certainty that Ms. Christie Brinkley is a fine addition to the prestigious COUGAR Hall of Fame.

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FACTOIDS ON CHRISTIE BRINKLEY… Her dad was a TV writer who worked on the Virginian and the Man from U.N.C.L.E. Her mom moved to California and later married Donald Brinkley and Christie adopted her stepfather’s surname She was educated at Le Lycée Français de Los Angeles, moving in 1973 to study art in Paris France American photographer Errol Sawyer discovered Christie in 1973 in a post office in Paris She had a 20-year contract with cosmetics brand CoverGirl The Super Model has appeared on over 500 magazine covers In 1998 Playboy named Brinkley one of 100 sexiest women of the 20th century She’s is in the 3rd place of the AskMen list Top 10 Supermodels Of All Time Married pop singer Billy Joel in 1985 Brinkley is an avid fan of the New York Islanders. In 2007 she showed her support for the team by writing a blog for NHL.com and filming a commercial for the Islanders.

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CAMACHO CIGARS INTRODUCES NEW CAMACHO CONNECTICUT

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CAMACHO CIGARS INTRODUCES NEW CAMACHO CONNECTICUT


Miami, FL., May 28th – Camacho Cigars, one of the key players in the international cigar market, is proud to announce the all new Camacho Connecticut.  The Camacho Connecticut is the first and only Connecticut wrapped Camacho cigar. Read the full story

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Spare Ribs that kick ass…A Holiday Fave on My Block!

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Spare Ribs that kick ass…A Holiday Fave on My Block!


A Planet Zman Exclusive Recipe

Hey Gabbagool…yeah, I’m talkin’ to you. I got a rib recipe that’ll knock your freakin’ head into the next room. These sons of bitches are so sweet, so tender, so juicy and tasty that I had to whack my neighbor just to get the secret recipe from him. But since you came all the way to Jersey just to see me, I’ll let ya take a look – but don’t tell nobody…capeesh?

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Teri Hatcher, COUGAR H.O.F. Week 2 Inductee, 5.25.09


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Born: Teri Lynn Hatcher, Palo Alto, CA, December 08, 1964 (Age: 45) • Birth Sign: Sagittarius
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When I first saw Teri Hatcher in 1993 play Lois Lane on the TV series, Lois and Clark, I thought she was one sexy hottie. Some eleven years later she became Susan Mayer on the mega hit, Desperate Housewives, and the role launched her career to a new stratosphere. And in 2009, she is 44 years of age and a full flege cougar if there ever was one… and she is still one sexy hottie!
The popular Ms. Hatcher has had numerous film and television roles. A few faves of mine…her appearance as Sidra, Jerry Seinfeld’s girlfriend, who said about her breasts, “They’re real…and they’re spectacular!” She was also the sexy Bond Girl, Paris Carver in Tomorrow Never Dies -- a role she claims she didn’t enjoy, calling the character artificial and the kind you don’t get any satisfaction from. May I state that if this vixen needs to be satisfied, I would gladly donate my services for a nominal fee. But that’s just the kind of considerate Polack that I am. This chick has been around the block for a few spins -- married twice, dated MacGyver’s Richard Dean Anderson and American Idol host and giddy little midget, Ryan Seacrest. And let me add that if we did happen to spend a night out on the town, I’m making this broad pick up the tab because she gets paid -- are you ready?… A whopping (and incredibly sickening) $285,000 per Desperate Housewives episode! Perhaps my favorite photo of the spunky brunette is the shot of her wrapped in Superman’s cape (see pic below) which was downloaded more times than Rosie O’donnell has made midnight Big Mac runs. Yeah, that’s an awful lotta downloads and Teri remains an awful lotta hottie, making her a preemo pick in the Planet Zman Cougar Hall of Fame.

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FACTOIDS ON TERI HATCHER…
Born to Esther Beshur who is a computer programmer, and Owen W. Hatcher who is a nuclear physicist Was a cheerleader for the 1984 SF 49ers Gold Rush Teri swore off marriage after two failed marriages She’s the second youngest actress of the core main cast in Desperate Housewives Studied acting at the American Conservatory Theater During the first season of Desperate Housewives, Teri won both a Golden Globe for Lead Actress in a Comedy Series and the SAG Award for Female Actor in a Comedy Series Was voted “Most Likely to Become a Solid Gold Dancer” by her graduating class in 1982 She beat out Monica Bellucci for the role of Paris Carver in the 1997 James Bond film Tomorrow Never Dies In 1985, her first acting job was playing a dancing Mermaid on the television series, The Love Boat At her first auditions for Lois and Clark, Teri admitted on having a crush on her co-star Dean Cain (Superman) Teri is an only child

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Inaugural Inductee, Salma Hayek


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Born: Salma Hayek-Jimenez, Veracruz, Mexico, September 02, 1966 (Age : 44) • Birth Sign: Virgo
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Salma Hayek has a sultry sexiness that really grows on you. And if you look at early photos of the Latin beauty, that’s not all that has grown over the years. I recently read that she is addicted to breastfeeding her child (honest) and maybe that would explain the incredibly swollen glands that rest upon her ribcage area.
None the less, she is a gorgeous woman who captivates fans with her jalapeno voice and vivacious Mexican swagger. I guess what I’m saying is that Salma is just so damned hot. It was her role along side of Antonio Banderas in the 1995 film, Desperado, that gave the actress the recognition she finally deserved; steamy, nasty and violent, the film put her on the radar screen and gave men everywhere a severely hardened Chalupa. I personally loved her in the 1999 Kevin Smith flick, Dogma. With over thirty films and a number of TV shows under her belt, including the role of executive producer on Ugly Betty, the silky black haired hottie was a no-brainer for me to inaugurate as a Cougar Hall of Fame inductee.

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FACTOIDS ON SALMA HAYEK…
Hayek is the first Mexican national to be nominated for an Academy Award for Best Actress Amazingly, Salma is speaks four languages: English, Arabic, Spanish, and Portuguese Daughter of opera singer and talent scout Diana Jimenez and oil company executive Sami Hayek In 2005 she was the recipient of Time Magazine 25 Most Influential Hispanics Ranked #18 in FHM’s 100 Sexiest Women in the World of 2007 Chosen by People Magazine as one of the 50 most beautiful people in the world in 1996 Has her own production company that goes by the name of Ventanarosa Was quite an accomplished gymnast with hopes of competing in the Olympics, but was prevented by her father from being recruited by the Mexican national team Received an Oscar nomination for the film, Frida She is Hollywood’s highest paid Latino actress And get this, she was tossed from a Catholic boarding school as a child because she hired a maid to clean her room.

MAKE SURE YOU CAST YOUR VOTE FOR MS. SALMA BELOW HER PHOTOS

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Inaugural Inductee, Heidi Klum


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Born: HEIDI KLUM, Bergisch-Gladbach, Germany, June 1, 1973 (Age: 35) • Birth Sign: Cancer
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Heidi Klum is the quintessential Supermodel and could choose any man in the world to be her partner. But in typical superstar bizzaro fashion, Ms. Klum married world-renowned singer, Seal, perhaps one of the ugliest son of a bitches to roam the earth. It’s the kind of thing that can sure give a pungent slob like me, great hope.

Heidi is truly a stunning beauty, and when she walks a fashion show runway, every eye is wide open and every jaw dropped. With measurements of 36-27-37, she is sexiness personified and arguably the hottest model in the world right now.  Her Sports Illustrated Swim Suit Edition photos and Victoria’s Secret Angel appearances have made her a household name, and her Guitar Hero “Risky Business” take off commercials give heterosexual males a reason to surf on You Tube and lock the door. (See video below.) She has appeared in a number of feature films and television shows, most memorably playing the love interest of Michael J. Foxes character on Spin City (lucky little bastid.) Yes, she’s a Newbie Cougar and a well-deserved inductee into the Hallowed Hall of Honeys.

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FACTOIDS ON HEIDI KLUM…
On April 29, 1992, Klum was voted the winner of 25,000 contestants and offered a modeling contract worth US$300,000 by Thomas Zeumer, CEO of Metropolitan Models New York Heidi was ranked #46 in FHM Online’s 100 Sexiest Women in the World of 2007 Daughter of Günther, a cosmetics company executive and mother Erna a hairdresser She’s the host for the TV show Germany’s Next Top Model Her nickname is The Body She wears a size 10 shoe Her infamous legs are insured for two million dollars Designed shoes for Birkenstock, jewelry for Mouawad, a clothing line for Jordache, and swimsuits that were featured in the 2002 Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Issue Was nominated for an Emmy in 2008 for “outstanding host of a reality or reality-competition show” for Project Runway Married stylist Ric Pipino in 1997 but the couple divorced in 2002 She is afraid of heights, but not of hideously ugly singers.

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Inaugural Inductee, Jane Seymour


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Born: Joyce Penelope Wilhelmina Frankenberg, Hayes and Harlington, Middlesex, United Kingdom, February 15, 1951, (Age 58) • Birth Sign: Aquarius
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Jane Seymour is charming, sensuous, lovely, elegant, and stunningly beautiful…and she’s also divorced four times which just goes to show that looks ain’t everything. But here at Cougar central, looks do play a big part in crowning these lovely ladies as a Hall of Fame pick, and Jane has never been hard on the eyes.

I think the interesting thing about Ms. Seymour is that she has never been typecast in a certain role. From Dr. Quinn Medicine Woman, to the Bond thriller, Live and Let Die, to Dancing With the Stars, Seymour has played an eclectic mix of characters and parts. One of my favorites has always been her performance in the film, Somewhere In Time, with Christopher Reeves. And another fave is almost the antithesis, as she played the hot and horny wife of Press Secretary, William Cleary in the hysterical film, Wedding Crashers. And as a real method actor would only do, Jane has admitted to having implants done for the role. She’s a trooper.
Seymour: “Do you like my tits? I just had ‘em done.”
Owen Wilson: “Those… seem like lovely tits. Mrs. Cleary…”
Seymour: “Call me Kat… Call me Kitty Kat, Roooowr..”
At 58 years of age, Ms. Jane Seymour is still smoking hot, and gracefully carries all of the honor and pageantry of a certified Cougar Hall of Fame Inaugural Inductee.

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FACTOIDS ON JANE SEYMOUR… Measurements: 35-24-36 Married and divorced four times  Her right eye is brown and her left eye is green Became a U.S. Citizen on February 11, 2005  Godfather of her son John was Johnny Cash Official Spokesperson for UNICEF She is the daughter of a British obstetrician and his Dutch wife, British gynecologist, John Frankenberg, an English Jewish obstetrician of Polish and German origin, and his wife, Mieke Frankenbergan Acting career began in 1969 with an uncredited role in Richard Attenborough’s film version of Oh! What a Lovely War. Soon afterward she married Attenborough’s son, Michael Attenborough A celebrity ambassador for the non-profit organization Childhelp She is the author of eight books Shares the same name as  Henry VIII’s third wife She rented her home to English rock group Radiohead, who recorded their album OK Computer at the house.

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