Some kind of strange and unexplainable primal forces are at work when the cleavage is exposed. When a man’s eyes make contact, our breath turns to short little panting noises as a pleasant warmth begins to develop in the nether region. Remember the Seinfeld episode where George stares at the NBC executive’s daughter’s low hanging fruit? Jerry says they are like giant and powerful magnets to the eyes with an effect much like Kryptonite has upon Superman.

Once again, it cannot be explained by mere rationale, but when the globes are in orbit, our eyes MUST make contact. Whether they are small and firm, or large, round and jiggly, it does not matter…we HAVE TO look! We HAVE TO. It’s like some unwritten law in the ancient records, scribed on the walls of the Mayan Temples. The luscious valley between the mighty peaks grips a man’s being much like the Sirens who seduced Homer in the Iliad and the Odyssey. Its spell is intoxicating driving a normal man to the very brink of childish behavior, not to mention – utter stupidity (or is that udder stupidity?)

We males have become masters of our craft. We have studied this vertical space of flesh and nothingness and have learned how to catch that sacred glimpse of nirvana at the perfect time. We look the female in the eyes, smile as we talk, nodding as if we are actually listening to a word the shrew is saying. It’s a peek of the holy grails that we are after and nothing will stop our valiant quest. We use cunning and guile to move their attention elsewhere – and the moment their eyes turn, OUR eyes dive in for the kill.

“Oh, look… that kitten must be lost.” We say with an innocent yet sinister glow.

“Oh, where?” she says, as her head moves about.

“Over yonder, in the bushes” you point, as your pupils all but burn a hole into her chest.

“Where?” she asks, “I don’t see a… um, what are you looking at?”

SNAGGED! You have been snagged! She begins to change the subject while awkwardly tugging her blouse upwards. As she continues to talk, you sit there like a fool – a large pulsating letter “L” is emblazoned upon your forehead as the beauty that once was is buried six miles deep in cotton and polyester fibers.

This previous action on the part of the female, I do not understand, as it confuses the male species here and abroad. Let me explain. A woman wears a shirt or sweater that by her choice, is low cut, as her ta-tas are in full display for all the world to gander. They’re swingin’ high and low, loose and free, giving the male populous the joy we so richly deserve. Yet the moment our woman – this teasing harlot – notices where our eyes are fixed, she folds her arms or grabs the nearest Cosmo to cover up those mountains of grandeur. UNFAIR I say!

I, the Zman, speak on behalf of heterosexual men everywhere on this wretched planet. Women, take heed. When you “CHOOSE” to wear a low cut top that exposes your upper region, DO NOT act so alarmed when we men are gazed upon your earthly beauty. Why do you wear such attire if you do not wish for us to stare? Why do you purposely dress so provocatively, yet cover up the moment we sneak a peek? I’ll be honest, ladies… since my early manhood this phenomena has really irked me to no end. You put the sale rack up on display, but when an interested shopper passes by, the curtains are drawn and the shop is closed. Again, UNFAIR I say!

I have to admit that this very horrid plight happened to me only today and I could not go another moment without speaking up for my fellow man. I was taken aback as my character was unfairly thrown into question. This was rude, degrading, and unjust in every way.

I’m telling you, there really was a lost kitten in the bushes. I swear.

- Zman

As my son has just hit 14 year’s of age – on his way to earning his Mancard – I’ve noticed his interest in girls getting more and more obvious. Each morning before school he hoses himself down with AXE body spray, and when mixed with Fritos for lunch it makes for an interesting middle-school aphrodisiac. Plus he’s doing a lot of Myspace messaging back and forth with the young ladies, which I say, “kudos little dude.”

I was trying to remember my earliest feelings for the opposite sex and it was probably in first grade where I sat in front of Kathy Werbin’s house one Saturday morning for about four hours waiting for her to come outside. I remember my heart pounding, wondering what I would say when we’d hook up. (It’s uncanny how woman make guys do brutally stupid shit – even at six years old.) Finally my patience paid off as she appeared from her garage – and man she was hot – even back then I was particular about looks. I remember she was into GI Joe’s and asked me to play. (It’s funny that GI Joe’s were actually dolls wrapped in testosterone so boys would be tricked into playing with them.) But my little heart was soon plucked from my ribcage as she had to go – a play date with Robert Sandler was scheduled and that was the first time I realized what cruel harlots the opposite sex can be.

It was definitely movies and TV that helped to arouse my nubile senses in the early years. I didn’t know why, but at ten years old I couldn’t take my eyes off of Barbara Eden’s stomach when she donned that genie costume. I used to get warm all over when she pranced around her Cocoa Beach habitat. And even at ten I wondered what the bloody hell was wrong with Major Nelson - I mean for crissakes, come on, man! Forget the fact that she was sizzling hot and was sworn to his every command – the bonehead could have anything he wanted – gold, jewels, cars, homes – but it was always, “Don’t use your powers, Jeannie.” What a friggin ass-tro-NOT.

Those cavorting cougars always had me more worked up more than Laurie Partridge or any of the Brady chicks. Girls my own age didn’t do it for me. I can’t explain it, but I always had a penchant for the older gals. Now I know most guys loved Dawn Wells as Mary Ann, but I was always a Ginger guy, and when Tina Louise strutted about in those slinky nightgowns, I was glued to the tube. (And it wasn’t until I was around 15 that I came to the conclusion that Gilligan, the Skipper, and the Professor were all raging poofters.) I’ve never really dug the “girl next door” type, but more the sultry, buxom bombshell. And as a lad, no one had me standing at full attention more than the incredible Raquel Welch. I was just a kid but I had an amazing appreciation for her killer body, complete with swollen appendages. You can blame God or nature, or the earth’s primal forces, but I was not in control of certain bodily reactions when Raquel appeared on a TV talk or game show. I used to scan the TV Guide when we got it to see if the starlet was appearing anywhere. That same era had the likes of Ursula Andress, Elke Sommer and Gina Lolabridgada, Sophia Loren, Brigette Bardot, and Margaret Nolan - incredibly voluptuous goddesses I couldn’t take my eyes off!

The same unexplainable force that changes the tides and pulls plants towards the sun had me more jacked up than ten Milky Ways and a jug of Bosco. I vividly remember watching Goldie Hawn dance in a bikini on Rowan and Martin’s Laughin, and thinking, “Now that sure as hell beats playing with GI Joe’s.”

Even though she wasn’t provocative, I always dug Elizabeth Montgomery as Samantha Stevens on Bewitched. Again, at an early age I recognized her beauty and just being a witch carried a sexiness all of its own. And again, with the ability to have anything he wanted, her retarded husband Darrin suffered from Major Nelson syndrome: “Don’t use any witchcraft to get what we want or need, Sam.” Whether it was York or Sargent, both Darrin’s were most definitely a couple of real “Dicks” when it came to Samantha’s powers.

No doubt today’s TV is a hell of a lot more sex oriented and I realize that my son is subject to those same unexplainable forces that his daddy was driven by. Plus with the internet and its 12,000 naughty sites, my kid doesn’t have to go rooting around my bedroom for pop’s “half-assed” hidden Playboy magazines (sorry dad, but you’ve gotta know I would have found them even if you buried them two miles under the goddamned septic tank.)

Listen, my intent here wasn’t to write a sexist piece and I’m certainly not advocating my kid look at porn or anything like that. I just know at 14 what my son is feeling as I think back to my early days of youth. And there’s no doubt everyone of you guys have similar memories and stories of your own – hopefully to share in the comments section below (and please do so because I’ll most likely need to convince my mother, wife, and daughter that I’m not a raging perverted psychopath, after they read this.)

Glad I could share such nice mammaries.

And hey, if you love the chicks from the sixties and seventies, there’s no better magazine to get your nostalgic dander up than Cinema Retro, published by my good buddy and film (and James Bond) aficionado, Lee Pfeiffer @ www.cinemaretro.com

- Zman

Room101, the alternative luxury lifestyle brand for those who demand quality with an edge, is proud to announce their new line of Room101 Cigars (www.room101cigars.com). Originally founded in 2003 by Matt Booth, Room101 will introduce the premium cigar into their already successful line of silver jewelry, clothing, and accessories. The Room101 Cigar collection will be a blend of attitude, culture, celebrity, and some of the world’s finest tobaccos.

The cigar, specially blended and created by Camacho Cigars, is a medium bodied cigar, comprised of tobaccos from both Honduras and the Dominican Republic. The wrapper is a Semilla 101 that was exclusively grown for this cigar. The Room101 cigar is available in six formats, all representing different area codes, including the 213 (44×5.5), 305 (50×5), 323 (50×6), 404 (54×52×6), 702 (48×54×48×6), and 808(60×6).

“We are very excited to launch this line of cigars with Room101,” said Dylan Austin, marketing director of Camacho Cigars. “This project has been a year in the making and it really great to see it come to fruition.”

Following the launch of the cigar, Matt Booth and the Room101 Cigar team will embark on a 90 day “Room 101/Camacho Conspiracy Tour” making stops at 45 retailers across the country. Room101 Cigars will also support the Wounded Warrior Project charity and urge people to donate to their cause.

“The Room101 cigar is the first of its kind in many ways,” said Matt Booth, owner and designer of Room101. “I am honored to be working with the Camacho family on this project. No other combination could have possibly done this concept justice.”

About Room101

Founded in 2003 by Matt Booth, Room101 is the premier luxury lifestyle brand, based in Hollywood, CA. What started as a designer’s dream to create unique pieces of jewelry, has grown into an all-encompassing design studio, producing luxury items for all facets of life. Room101 is unmatched in the quality of both design and final products and has quickly become a stand out in the industry.

About Camacho Cigars

Founded in 1961 by Simon Camacho, Camacho Cigars was acquired by the Eiroa family in 1995. Now part of the Oettinger Davidoff Group, Camacho Cigars is one of the key players in the international cigar market. The flagship Camacho brand, made at Rancho Jamastran in Danli, Honduras, is comprised of 9 premium and ultra-premium line extensions: (Super-Premium: Diploma, 10th Anniversary Corojo, Liberty Series, Triple Maduro, Select)(Premium: Corojo, Coyolar, Havana, SLR). Camacho Cigars also has 7 core brands, including Baccarat The Game, America’s #1 selling premium cigar.

Today, our guest rater is my good friend, NY Times Best Selling author and media personality, the incomparable Larry Winget. Larry is a bold personality who happens to love even bolder cigars. I knew he liked the classic Camacho profile, but had never tried the Triple Maduro. So, a UPS box from Jersey to Arizona was sent, and the Pitbull of Personal Development was ready for action.

Now the wrapper, binder, and filler on this cigar is all made from Honduran maduro tobacco leaf, making it the world’s first true triple maduro cigar. According to Camacho, it is the result of almost a full year’s work maduro varieties. The biggest challenge was to get these thick leaves to burn and taste right together.

Now, Larry is an accomplished cigar smoker and has a good palate for rating a cigar. I knew it would be interesting to hear his comments, so without further adieu, Mr. Larry Winget.

Larry Winget is the author of several consecutive Wall Street Journal and New York times Beslling books, the most recent being, People Are Idiots and I Can Prove It. I highly recommend a trip to his website where you’ll find more great stuff than you can possibly handle.

CLICK RIGHT HERE> www.larrywinget.com

I drove past a Smart Car on the weekend and couldn’t believe this ballsy little half pint was zipping along Route 80 with the big boys of the interstate. In fact, I threw a paper clip at it, trying to knock it over, but the little bastid just laughed and kept on going. Then I tossed a handful of loose change and half a half eaten sandwich at it, but it held it’s ground. I then opened my door and farted and as you can imagine, it did give the driver a good scare.

The Smart Car is what gives the Al Gore’s of the world a perpetual woody. It is the green geekazoid’s chariot of triumph. At 8 feet long, five feet wide and five feet high, this hideous looking glorified golf cart is all the rage for the crowd that harasses whaling vessels while sucking down tofu smoothies during lunch break. At 1,500 pounds it gets around 70 miles to a gallon and is all the rage in Europe. But of course those tight little cobblestone streets are made for such a ride, not the American super highways.

The guy who invented Swatch Watches was bored one day and came up with the idea for this diminutive doo-hickey. Sure, it’s fuel efficient and good for the ozone, but it’s without question, one big rolling can of chick repellent. I love old muscle cars like Corvettes, Mustangs, Camaros, Firebirds, Challengers, Chargers, Dusters, etc. I love the look, the feel, and the power. And chicks dig a dude in a 454, plain and simple. They don’t dig 50 horsepower. The ladies go gaga over eight-cylinder super-charged beasts. They don’t get all hot and bothered by three-cylinder wimps. I sincerely ask you – how the hell are you gonna get laid in that toaster with wheels? First off, no self-respecting hottie would be caught dead dating a dud in that oversized Partridge Family lunchbox. And secondly, there just ain’t enough room to bump and grind by the dashboard light. I want a lady who’s turned on by muscle and might, not fiscal and environmental responsibility. Why not go all out and put a bumper sticker on the back that says, “I have a small dick, too.”

Save the Earth? How about saving your self worth? Any real red-blooded American male is not going to be seen behind the wheel of one of those teenie-weenie, Euro machine-ees. And guess what? These little punk-ass vehicles ain’t cheap, either. There’s three models and the base starts at around $12,000 with the high-end model topping out at around seventeen grand! Are these people kidding? You could probably juice up a riding lawn mower and save yourself fifteen thousand. At least attach a couple of rotating blades under the damned thing so you can earn a few extra bucks cutting lawns in your neighborhood. Jezuz H Christmas, man.

Now, supposedly the crash ratings are pretty good on these uglified autos, but how’d you like to drive between a couple of Mac Trucks in that rolling bucket of doom? Something tells me nailing a squirrel at 30 miles an hour would F that mini gas can up something awful. I wonder in the winter if you can pop the wheels off and snap sled runners on.

I simply cannot endorse these ass-wipe automobiles. I’m a man who loves ice hockey, beer can chicken, full-bodied cigars, full-bodied females, and I believe you can put bacon on anything and it will taste better. Why just a few months back I tore a god damned beaver damn apart with my bare hands, for crissakes.

There is no way in hell I will compromise my role as a manly creature by getting behind the wheel of one of those gaudy little go-carts. And if you think this is the way road travel should go, then check your man-card at the door of life, you Mary-ass wuss. I’d download photos of Rosie Odonnell at the Denny’s breakfast bar before I’m seen in one of these death boxes.

NFW. No way, no how, uh-huh. It just ain’t smart.

- ZMAN

July 14, 2009 – Ft. Lauderdale, FL – Altadis U.S.A. announced today that Theo Folz, the company’s President and CEO, will be retiring on September 30, 2009. He joined the company twenty-five years ago and has been in the industry 46 years.

With such legendary company brands as Montecristo, Romeo y Julieta, Dutch Masters, Phillies and Backwoods to name just a few, Folz has lead Altadis U.S.A. to a premier position in the cigar business with unprecedented sales and earnings levels. Highly respected and regarded through out the entire tobacco industry, he is known as an icon.

Folz has made a huge contribution in making Altadis U.S.A.’s cigar business the force that it is today. He has been a dominant figure in the history of the U.S. and indeed the worldwide cigar industry. Theo and his wife, Connie, look forward to global travel, fine food and wine and enjoying their sport fishing boat. Folz says, “It has been an honor to be a part of such a vibrant and historic industry.”

He will be succeeded as President and CEO on October 1, 2009 by Gary Ellis, currently CFO, who has been with the company for over twenty years.

There are some things that scare the absolute living Shineola out of us guys, but like true masochists, we just can’t seem to get enough of it. Some love vomit inducing roller coasters while others enjoy tying thin pieces of cord to their ankles, hurling themselves from five story high railroad bridges. But for the past twenty-one years, millions have tuned to cable’s Discovery Channel to get ravaged and brutalized by the man-eating kings of the deep during the infamous and highly rated Shark Week!

Sharks are devastatingly frightening predators that will make a meal of your torso in seconds, yet we adore these wretched beasts. We love watching some psycho with a camera floating in an underwater cage while a twenty-foot great white attempts to make a pre-dinner snack out of the crazed photographer. Why sharks are so popular, I’m not sure, but back in 1973, that little film entitled Jaws put a fear in people like nothing else before. I was 13 at the time and I don’t think I took a shower for the next two weeks after that flick, because I was so afraid to go near the water. I remember being light on friends during that little time period for some reason as well.

Discovery Channel debuts it’s 22st season of Shark Week and the network is ready for their annual ratings boost. Last year opening night drew 42 million viewers and it is always one of Discovery’s most anticipated events of the year. “It’s a summertime ritual,” claims Discovery president, John Ford. “People are endlessly fascinated by sharks. There’s a lot of variety, they’re fascinating creatures, and also they scare us.”

“The relationship between sharks and humans is a rich topic,” Ford continues. “There’s always something new to find out about sharks – why they attack, what they eat, and how to avoid an attack.”

I’m sure they’d love a paunchy Polak to snack on, so I really would like to stay clear of their whereabouts. Plus, I’m completely full of roast beef, ribs, burgers and snacks, so any damned shark who nails me is basically getting the Royale Polish Buffet! But I really think how to avoid an attack is pretty simple: Stay the f@#k out of waters where they inhabit! Even a stupid bastid whose family originated just west of Warsaw can figure that one out. Jeez.

Here’s the official lineup for you Hammerheads, straight from Discovery’s website…

www.sharkweek.com

The week kicks off with a two hour hair-raising special about the true story behind Jaws. During the week, Survivorman, Les Stroud, takes viewers on a quest around to the world to find the hottest of shark hotspots. Also, specialists, historians and personal accounts reveal the complexities of shark behavior and bring to light the Great White, the oceans most mysterious and dangerous shark of all! Don’t say we didn’t warn you!

Blood In the Water – 2 hour premiere!
Sunday, August 2 at 9 p.m. ET/PT

The true story behind the bloody shark attacks of 1916 that inspired the movie “Jaws.” A 9 foot long shark cruises just off the New Jersey beaches. For centuries its ancestors have done exactly the same. But today there’s unusual company. Swimming in the sea has recently become popular amongst a species the shark has never encountered in his world before: human beings. For the shark it’s a novel feeding opportunity. For the humans it’s the beginning of a new relationship between themselves and the ocean, terrifying and fascinating in equal measure. It’s the first multiple shark attack in American history, and the reason we fear sharks to this day.
Check out a sneak peek of Blood In The Water.

Deadly Waters
Monday, August 3 at 9 p.m. ET/PT
Survivorman’s Les Stroud is back for more nail biting – shark chomping action, and this time, he’s taking on the deadliest waters around the world. His quest is simple – which water is the deadliest? Starting from historical data from the Florida Museum Of Natural History’s famed “Shark Attack Files”, Les will begin his journey to test the waters in the world’s sharkiest “hotspots”. Les will work with a team of experts to compound the “count-down” format as he circumnavigates the globe to initiate a series of intense immersive experiments in an effort to determine why the waters are among the deadliest on Earth!

Day of the Shark 2
Monday, August 3 at 10 p.m. ET/PTSee what happens in this harrowing hour, when a great white breaks through a 300-pound aluminum shark cage and traps the divers inside. Another shark tackles a former Navy Seal in shallow waters off the coast of St. Petersburg, Florida. And a bull shark invades a spear-fishing trip in the Bahamas. When you’re a visitor in the vast and complex ocean, any day could be the “Day of the Shark.”

Sharkbite Summer
Tuesday, August 4 at 9 p.m. ET/PT
The bite-by-bite account of America’s notorious “Summer of the Shark” in 2001. Were the Ocean’s apex predators really taking back America’s shores? Sharkbite Summer revisits the attack sites and — using news archive, interviews with victims, witnesses, surgeons, family members and shark experts — builds an exact picture of the bloody summer of 2001.
Check out a sneak peek of Sharkbite Summer.

Great White Appetite
Wednesday, August 5 at 9 p.m. ET/PT
The Great White is one of the most of the most feared predators on earth as well as one of it’s most efficient hunters. The Great White Shark patrols the shores of more than fifty percent of the world’s inhabited coastlines, and yet, besides the fact that they’ve killed hundreds of people, we know almost nothing about them. Its incredible appetite is more of a mystery than anything else about the shark. Remarkably, scientists don’t have any accurate data on the Great White’s population, mating, traveling or even what drives their feeding behavior. Observe first hand the experiments that let us uncover the Great Whites unique eating habits. We will travel the globe, stopping at three major Great White feeding grounds – Seal Island, South Africa; Adelaide, Australia and Guadalupe Island, Mexico and administer incredibly visual experiments in an effort to answer this and many other fascinating questions!

Shark After Dark
Thursday, August 6 at 9 p.m. ET/PT
Sharks are most aggressive and most active in the dark, but the fact is, we know very little else about the nocturnal nature of these creatures. Now, armed with the latest in infrared thermography cameras and night vision technology, a team of divers travels around the world, and descends into the sharks dangerous after-dark hunting grounds. Their goal is to learn more about how Great Whites, Six-Gills, and Tiger Sharks behave after the sun goes down.

Today, our guest rater is my good buddy Niko, from In the Humidor.com. Let’s get smokin…

ABOUT OUR REVIEWER: Nick Cirksena is publisher/owner of InTheHumidor.com. He has been smoking cigars since the last cigar boom of the 90’s. Smoking everything under the sun has given him a wide range of tastes and experiences. Nick has been running In The Humidor for just about 2 years now and enjoy the hell out of it.

Nick resides in Texas and says that it’s great cigar smoking weather and wouldn’t trade it for anything. He’s happily married to his high school sweetheart and has 3 girls. He enjoys hanging out with the family, cigars, and computers and is looking forward to chatting and getting to know everyone here on Planet Z!

Contributing writer, Izzy Jaecks takes a look at the meaning of RESPONSIBLE gun ownership…

Back in 1992 in my college years, my hometown was toying with passing a handgun-ownership ban for within the city limits. I don’t remember if current owners would be grand-fathered in or not… it would be hard to enforce a ban on current owners without spending LOTS of taxpayer money to track down gun purchase receipts, some of which could be/would be decades old… The ban did NOT get passed, but some time before the vote, I was approached by an “activist” in the Student Union…

“Hi. I am with the Coalition of the Blahdey Blah Citizens of Pimmeldy Buck, and we are gathering signatures for our petition to ban handgun ownership….”

I cut him off, “no thanks…”

Ah, but he has tactics…

“What if I were to tell you that YOUR signature would directly protect the life of a child from a handgun accident? What if I could guarantee that YOUR signature will save a life?”

I shake my head… “Nope.” Unwashed hippie’s tactic of invoking the Safety of The Children did not work on a cold bastard like me. Oh the humanity.

Truth is, I own guns. A LOT of them… and bows… and swords… If you were to walk into my house you would either look around seeing the collection I have and either think, “Wow, what a fascinating and diverse collection of historically important artifacts and historical reproductions!” Or you would think, “Wow, what a paranoid nut.” Luckily I am not a paranoid nut. If I actually needed this amount of firepower to feel SAFE, I would have bigger problems than your average Joe. Now, if the need actually were to arise that I needed to defend myself and my home with force, I would… and could… because I don’t just OWN guns, I am a Responsible Gun Owner.

Whether you like it or not, guns are designed to kill things. Just because that is what they have been designed for, it does not mean that you have or will kill anyone with it… or that you WANT to kill anyone or anything with it… but it IS what they were invented and designed to do, plain and simple. I have the power to kill someone from a distance… I had to fill out a form for a background check for each gun, and if I lived in a different state, I might have had to wait through a minimum “waiting period” of anywhere from a few days to over a week after my background check cleared. But nowhere was I required to prove that I was strong enough or smart enough to deserve this power.

Kinda shocking, isn’t it? Luckily I am a Responsible Gun Owner.

While I am not required to do ANYTHING of the sort after I pass the background check and hand over the cash to my Local Gun Dealer for my shiny new tool, I take to heart the “A well regulated Militia” portion of the Second Amendment and I STUDY and TRAIN with my weapons. This doesn’t mean that I march up and down the square in the hot sun with my Mauser on my shoulder, but I have and study takedown manuals for all my guns. I practice taking each apart, reassembling each… and I examine each part, making sure everything is clean and sound. I have practice rounds, also called “snap caps”, for each gun as well so I can practice loading and firing while watching TV….

I WILL NOT TAKE A GUN TO THE RANGE OR LOAD LIVE AMMUNITION UNTIL I HAVE TAKEN TIME TO STUDY THE PIECE AND PRACTICE LOADING AND FIRING IT AGAIN AND AGAIN WITH PRACTICE AMMUNITION…

Lather, rinse, repeat.

And guess what? I’ve never had a gun-related accident in my home or at the range. No child has gotten their hands on a loaded weapon in my house and killed their little brother. No one has been shot in the face because I didn’t check the chamber before I started to clean a gun. Why?…

Because I am a Responsible Gun Owner.

THIS is the kind of gun “control” that the government should care about and enforce and encourage… you need to learn how to drive a car before getting behind the wheel by yourself… The government would serve the safety of its people better if it did away with token “waiting periods” and full-out ownership bans and replace them with “gun schools”. You want to own a handgun? Great… pass this safety course first, and you can own all the guns you want. Maybe the government hasn’t gone this route because it’s such a simple solution.

That’s right, stogiphiles and brothers of the leaf -  for two days – September 18 and 19 2009, the Midwest Cigar Summit, one of the finest cigar get-togethers on God’s great earth, makes its triumphant return to the land Bulls, Bears, Cubs, Sox, and Hawks.

In just a few short years, the event has grown from a small gathering of friends, to a full blown cigar smoking happy-fest! This year the festivities will takes place at Jimmy’s Bar, who’s famous beer garden is the perfect venue for a gathering of this size which could reach four to five-hundred lovers of the leaf.

Event organizer and grand poobah, Lucas Woith is genuinely excited about this year’s smoke-a-thon. “Every year just gets better and better with the Summit, and this one will be the finest, by far,” says Luke. “Great vendors, incredible cigars, and all the wonderful people who come make this the greatest time of the year for me.”

Cigar Rights of America will be on hand at the Summit to tell you about their group, which is the only of it’s kind in the country.   You’ll be able to sign up to be a member, and help the fight against oppressive smoking bans and tobacco taxes.

Find out more about the Summit, how you can attend, directions and lodging, contact:

info@midwestcigarsummit.com

2009 Midwest Cigar Summit
Jimmy’s Bar
2801 W. Peoria, Illinois
Friday, September 18    from 5 to 10 pm
Saturday, September 19, from Noon – 10pm.

http://www.midwestcigarsummit.com