Take the Official Planet Zman Manly Man Quiz

Click LIKE on FaceBook for All Your Testosterone Filled Updates > PlanetZman on FaceBook

Since you’ve landed on this website, it means that there’s a 99% chance that you are of the male species. So the question is – Do you think of yourself as a “Man’s Man?” You probably already consider yourself in that company, but how can you “really” tell for sure? Well, the Zman has come up with a self-examination quiz that will accurately measure your levels of testosterone, guy thoughts, and man sweat.

It’s the Official Planet Zman Manly Man Quiz

The following 35 questions have been technically researched and verified for authenticity. So give us your answers fair and square, and see what kind of guy you really are. How much testosterone is in your tank? Lets find out, shall we?…

1. Have you seen the movies Slap Shot, Red Dawn, Weird Science, Clerks, Lost Boys, or High Plains Drifter in any combined order a total of 20 times?

2. Do you ever find yourself saying “Go get your f@#king shine box” at the most inappropriate times?

3. Have you smoked a cigar during a game of Texas Hold ‘Em anytime in the past 2 weeks?

4. Do you know who the team with the most victories in Monday Night Football history is?

5. Do you laugh aloud every time the giant rack of ribs flips the Flintstones car in the final credits?

6. Have you ever kissed the Stanley Cup?

7. Have you ever drank Budweiser from an ashtray, shoe, or a rubber?

8. Do you religiously head bang to the ending of Bohemian Rhapsody?

9. Do you have a favorite Motorhead song?

10. Have you ever been drilled in the cubes with a street hockey ball?

11. Do you find Paris Hilton a brutally skanky, bizarre, oddity, yet you’d hit it just the same?

12. Are you a normal law abiding good citizen, yet you get off on anyone who is pummeled, maimed, strangled, curbed, or cut up into pieces on the Sopranos?

13. Do you have any sorrow whatsoever for Bill Buckner?

14. Would you stop for a sack of White Castle Sliders even though you were on your way to your mom’s for Thanksgiving dinner?

15. Have you ever given nicknames to any of your farts?

16. Do scenes of John Travolta dressed in drag in the movie Hairspray give you convulsions or seizures?

17. Have you ever spent more than 30 minutes trying to delete pop-up windows during a random porn surf?

18. Three Stooges episode or Obama / Clinton debate?

19. Does the thought of having a Corvette, a Harley, and a Hummer in your driveway make you retard giddy?

20. Do you own more than three humidors?

21. Do you soil yourself each time Col. Jessup barks “YOU CAN’T HANDLE THE TRUTH?”

22. When flipping through TV channels, do you pause each and every time on the Spanish station while trying to convince your significant other that it’s for educational purposes?

23. What do you think is heavier: Trying to figure out the meaning of life or Rosie O’donnell’s lunch bag?

24. Have you ever watched Das Boot and felt bad for the Germans?

25. Should cheeseburgers have their own box in the food pyramid?

26. Do you wish you could be Mikey from American Chopper for just one day?

27. Do you find it to be offensive when a woman displays major rack then covers up when you stare?

28. Do you still get awkwardly tense each time you hear Tommy DeVito ask, “What do you mean, I’m funny?…You mean the way I talk?…What’s funny about it?…What the f@#k is so funny about me? Tell me?”

29. Do you feel Harvey Fierstein should be held accountable for the gerbil shortage in French Guiana?

30. Bill & Ted, Harold & Kumar, or Jay and Silent Bob?

31. If it was ok with your significant other, would War Pigs be your wedding song?

32. Did you swear like a psycho drunken sailor and throw shit at your TV when the screen went to black during the Sopranos finale?

33. If Dr. Phil, Simon Cowell, and David Spade were killed in a mine shaft explosion would your immediate response would be, “huh, looks like rain today.”

34. Do you admit to drinking a glasses of ecoli laden raw eggs after you saw ROCKY for the first time?

35. Who’s on first?

OK, brothers, you’ve done your best. Good luck in your continual quest towards eternal manliness and may God bless your decrepit soul.

Share/Save/Bookmark

12 Comments For This Post

  1. CraigW Says:

    Yes to All!!!!

  2. tommyzman Says:

    Craig, you are an animal! A freakin’ animal!
    Welcome to my world, buddy, glad you landed on the planet.

    - Z

  3. EEE Says:

    Eli Manning?! The fact that Eli, Trent Dilfer and Brad Johnson have Super Bowl rings just proves that, like the lottery, even deadbeats can strike it big sometimes.

  4. Stugots Says:

    Col. Jessup FTW!!!

    #27: WTF women. Set those boobies FREE!

  5. trooper284 Says:

    #36. Whats on second? (Abbott and Costello rule!)

    #37. Have you DVRd the opening scenes of Full Metal Jacket and religiously rewatch as Gunny Sgt. Hartmann (R. Lee Ermey) reams out his boots.

  6. tommyzman Says:

    Trooper, you’ve gotta see the library of amazing video that’s going to be on this site. More shit than your brain can handle, bro.

    But I will continue to take suggestions!

    Keep it coming, guys!

    - Z

  7. CottyGee Says:

    Buncha friggin’ Zman groupies here… LOL

    Did I win the Camachos yet??? ; – )

  8. G_man Says:

    That’s some funny Sh!$ Dylan! You guys stay out of trouble in Vegas this weekend… Tell Eric TFA I forgot to send him his “I support Single Mom’s” T-shirt (tshirthell.com)

  9. Denahue Says:

    Yes to all except #12…. I don’t watch TV much….. Hey TZ, you got way to much time on your hands Brudda…

  10. roadlizard7 Says:

    I’m only okay on 16, but a lot of it is Yankee, Italian goombah shit that we don’t know anything about. Hockey? We’re lucky to have enough ice for our drinks.

    How about stuff like have you ever been flipped upside down off a mechanical (or real) bull? Is Barbecue a noun or a verb? How many different species of animals have you grilled or smoked (barbecued)? Can you ride a horse? Can you drink and hunt at the same time? Have you ever farted so loud in a duck blind that a whole flock turned around and tried to land in it with you? Is your pickup jacked up so high that you need a stepladder to get into it?

    A few yes answers to these questions would rate you a little higher on the manly scale.

  11. Maximus61 Says:

    Damn… I only have two humidors at the moment… great stuff Z :)

  12. tommyzman Says:

    Thanx Maximus! I work hard for your laughter and admiration. And your cigars.

Leave a Reply

You must be logged in to post a comment.