The great Lew Rothman, big cheese and head mogul of JR Cigars took time out of his incredibly busy day to write me an article for this site, filled with wishes of well being and good fortune. I’m not only honored, but practically in tears each time I read his loving words. I was compelled to share this with all of you. So, without further adieu…

The Z-Man asked me to write a little something for his Planet Z-Man site because no one is interested in reading any of the worthless drivel he writes. So this morning I mentioned his request to the other executives here in the office at 800 JR and they all turned thumbs down on it. Frankly, they wonder why I always seem to associate with low life scumbags like Mr.Z (Z for Zero) Zarzecki. And, now that I think about it, I realize it’s true! While I’m a pretty hi-profile businessman, all the guys I’m really friendly with are mechanics, carpet cleaners, gardeners, and even low-life swine like the Z-Man.

My wife never lets me invite any of these guys over the house because she doesn’t want to spend a lot of time hiding her jewelry and silverware…. plus she hardly speaks a word of Spanish so she gets all hot and bothered when they take a leak off the back porch even after she’s shown them where the bathroom is and how to flush with the little handle on the side. Well, that’s women for ya.

Anyway, I don’t really know much about Tom Zarzecki other than he’s fat, homely, spends most of his day stuffing his face with any food that’s less than two weeks old, and writes the JR Blog on our JRCIGARS.COM website…. AND POSTS IT LATE EVERY SINGLE DAY
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So since I know so little about the Z-Man, I figured I’d just fill up some space writing about the sewage treatment plants along I-95 in Virginia because there’s something violently wrong down there… but then that idea got the heave-ho by our corporate lawyers who are deathly afraid of tangling with the four plus billion lawyers just waiting in line to sue our ass over anything I write.

In fact, just to protect ourselves here at JR, let me state unequivocally that we have absolutely nothing to do, nor any control over the bigoted, anti-everything shit that this guy writes. This guy is in serious need of some deep electro-shock therapy – and a shower now and then wouldn’t hurt either.

Sincerely,

- LR