Welcome to this edition of Man Toys, where the primal grunting is so loud I couldn’t hear the clicking of my keyboard. Today we feature one over-the-top, bad-ass tricycle, a watch that would make Sir Edmund Hillary proud, and a golf club that should come with a bottle of Dramamine. Have fun, boys.

Cirbin V13R

Is it a motorcycle? Is it a hotrod? What the bloody hell? Am I f@#king seeing things? These should be the FAQ’s on Campagna Motor Sports of Canada’s website. These crazy, brilliant, insane people have developed the Cirbin V13R, a totally street legal machine, unlike anything on the road today.

This head turning, neck-wrenching vehicle is built for fun, speed, looks, handling and safety and it is without a doubt the wildest thing on three wheels. It features a reverse trike configuration and rear propulsion powered by a Harley Davidson, liquid cooled, Twin V-Rod engine. This screaming little son of a bitch seats two comfortably, weighs 1,000 lbs, has a sequential five-speed transmission, and tops out at 130mph. It’s available in three colors: Inferno red, Bright Silver, and Brilliant Black and comes with a mere $40,000 price tag. Oh yeah – it will definitely get you laid. Trust me.

Tissot T-Touch Expert Titanium
The Swiss are known for their humongous snow-covered mountains, gut expanding chocolate, cheese with holes, and spectacularly crafted timepieces to adorn the wrist. The Tissot T-Touch is definitely the Man’s Man watch, made for climbing a glacier, backpacking the Black Forest, or searing ribeyes on the back patio grill. It is girthy, hefty, weighty, and tough as an iceberg with a Titanium rotating bezel, anti-reflective scratch-resistant tactile sapphire crystal, and is water-resistant to 100 m. It boasts a range of innovative functions that you may never use, but they are there just in case Kilimanjaro starts a calling. At $1,100 it is a serious watch that just might get you noticed at the Navy Seals special training facility. Of course you’ll have to put the goddamned beer down first.

Taylor Made Tour Burner Driver
Golf technology is getting completely out of hand. With clubs and balls that have the average double bogie shmuck hitting 300 yards, pretty soon a 620-yard dogleg just may become a short par 4.

And now Taylor Made has the Tour Burner Driver that makes the weekend knucklehead feel like people should be telling him, “You da man!” The Taylor web page says, “The Tour Burner driver is engineered to help the average golfer generate tour-caliber launch conditions in order to promote tour-caliber distance.” And as you might expect, it carries a $400 tour caliber price tag. The technology behind it is amazing, but who really cares? I mean do you need to be an expert in electricity or do you just flip the light switch? Well, then just flip on the Burner and you will definitely start heating up the course.

- ZMAN