It’s America’s cultural event of the year, surpassing New Year’s Eve in partying and only second to Thanksgiving in our food consumption for one day. The Super Bowl, which made its debut at the LA Colliseum in 1967, saw the Green Bay Packers of the NFL defeat the Kansas City Chiefs of the rival AFL, thus creating a new tradition for gathering and gorging in the United States. The name for the event, originally suggested by commissioner Pete Rozelle was “The Big One.” Man, that has connotations, don’t it? WTF was the guy thinking…The BIG ONE? It was then Chiefs owner Lamar Hunt who watched his kid’s playing with a Super Ball and suggested the present name. Thank God for those kids.

It’s a fact that most people don’t give a damn about who is playing in the game, they are there for the food, the camaraderie, and those mindless box pools. While the manly men huddle round the flat screen, grunting like primordial dolts cheering on their team for the day, the ladies (for the most part) stand near the spinach dip in the bread bowl and sip Chardonnay while cackling about anything but football.

The Gambling…
While the Pittsburgh Steelers are this year’s favorites, the Arizona Cardinals could certainly play the shockers, as did the Giants in last year’s big game. Most people watching won’t have allegiance to any team on the field, so whether it’s with a buddy, in Vegas, or with a local bookie, they place a wager to make the game interesting. And this year the wagering in Las Vegas will be monumental as usual, while the betting categories are endless – first this to happen, first that to happen, and even the goddamned coin toss. One year there was even a line on the Bud Bowl. It is out of hand.

Then there are the aforementioned box pools – something to keep the chicks busy while we manly men watch the game. Actually we all do them and you know that they are so borderline retarded…”Now if the Steelers score two touchdowns and miss both extra points and the Cardinals get two safeties I win twelve bucks after the first quarter.” Rooting for your box numbers is an awful experience because you always get f@#ked over on the final play of the quarter by a bullshit field goal or a blocked extra point and it always makes you sick.

The Food…
But of course for many, it’s all about the gastronomic delicacies. The spike in grocery sales a week prior is incredible. Approximately $55 million is spent on the party food along with roughly ten million hours preparing it. America eats 15 tons of Chips and 4 tons of popcorn. 12 million pounds of avocados are sold that week to create guacamole. Damn, and what a day for chili and hot wings, pizza, 6-foot heroes, fried chicken, macaroni and potato salad soda and beer. Holy guacamole, its Wednesday morning and I’m friggin starving! I think no heads of broccoli are officially sold anywhere during this weekend. That would make perfect sense to me. The final food fact is that antacid sales jump 20% on the following Monday. Nothing worse than a mouth and throat loaded with molten burning acid reflux at 3:30 Sunday Night.

The Commercials…
Most of the world cares more about the commercials than the damned game itself. There have been many greats: The Bud Bowl, the Budweiser Frogs, Monster.com, GoDaddy.com, Jordan / Bird, Nothing but Net – but there has never EVER been any commercial like the infamous 1984 Macintosh commercial. Ridley Scott fresh off directing Blade runner produced the most memorable commercial of all time. The commercial only aired one time at a cost of one million to run and about two million to produce, and put Apple Computer on the world map.

Health Statistics –
This year they’re saying that a great number of heart attacks happen during the big game. Seems the stress is too much for many. Plus the stomach disorders and the acid reflux is brutal.

And, finally, the Game…
Last year’s match is sure one hell of a tough act to follow as the NY Giants beat the 18-0 Patriots, stunning the football world with one of the best played games in the history of the Championship. I’m having a tough time with this one because although the Steelers are a better team, but the Cards are peaking and Kurt Warner has two Lombardis under his belt. I’m saying the game is a surprising over pick with the Cardinals 31, Steelers 24.

Hope you enjoy the Big One…oh, and the game. Too.

- Zman