Sunday, July 27, 9pm, Discovery Channel debuts it’s 21st season of Shark Week!
There are some things that scare the absolute living Shineola out of us guys, but like true masochists, we just can’t seem to get enough of it. Some love vomit inducing roller coasters while others enjoy tying thin pieces of cord to their ankles, hurling themselves from five story high railroad bridges. But for the past twenty-one years, millions have tuned to cable’s Discovery Channel to get ravaged and brutalized by the man-eating kings of the deep during the infamous and highly rated Shark Week!
Sharks are devastatingly frightening predators that will make a meal of your torso in seconds, yet we adore these wretched beasts. We love watching some psycho with a camera floating in an underwater cage while a twenty-foot great white attempts to make a pre-dinner snack out of the crazed photographer. Why sharks are so popular, I’m not sure, but back in 1973, that little film entitled Jaws put a fear in people like nothing else before. I was 13 at the time and I don’t think I took a shower for the next two weeks after that flick, because I was so afraid to go near the water. I remember being light on friends during that little time period for some reason as well.
This Sunday at 9pm, Discovery Channel debuts it’s 21st season of Shark Week and the network is ready for their annual ratings boost. Last year opening night drew 42 million viewers and it is always one of Discovery’s most anticipated events of the year. “It’s a summertime ritual,” claims Discovery president, John Ford. “People are endlessly fascinated by sharks. There’s a lot of variety, they’re fascinating creatures, and also they scare us.”
This year other network regulars get in on the scare fest as the Mythbusters, Mike Rowe of Dirty Jobs, and Les Stroud of Survivorman all take part in the feeding frenzy!
“The relationship between sharks and humans is a rich topic,” Ford continues. “There’s always something new to find out about sharks – why they attack, what they eat, and how to avoid an attack.”
I’m sure they’d love a paunchy Polak to snack on, so I really would like to stay clear of their whereabouts. Plus, I’m completely full of roast beef, ribs, burgers and snacks, so any damned shark who nails me is basically getting the Royale Polish Buffet! But I really think how to avoid an attack is pretty simple: Stay the f@#k out of waters where they inhabit! Even a stupid bastid whose family originated just west of Warsaw can figure that one out. Jeez.
Here’s the official lineup for you Hammerheads, straight from Discovery’s website…
SHARK WEEK premieres July 27 to Aug. 2, 2008, featuring six all-new programs along with some of SHARK WEEK’s most popular and memorable shows from past years. Check out the lineup below and see the TV schedule for the full week of shark programming.
SHARK WEEK 2008 PREMIERES:
MYTHBUSTERS: SHARK SPECIAL
Premieres Sunday, July 27, at 9 p.m. ET/PT. Using their signature sci-tech style of explosive experimentation, the MythBusters hit the deep blue from California to the Bahamas to investigate myths about sharks.
SURVIVING SHARKS
Premieres Monday, July 28, at 9 p.m. ET/PT. Survivorman’s Les Stroud hosts this look at how best to play it safe in the water, while testing popular theories of how to survive shark encounters.
DAY OF THE SHARK
Premieres Monday, July 28, at 10 p.m. ET/PT. Do shark encounters happen more frequently in the morning or night? This special chronicles six recent shark attacks that took place at different times of day. Top shark experts weigh in on what time of day is better or worse for avoiding sharks.
DIRTY JOBS: GREENLAND SHARK QUEST
Premieres Tuesday, July 29, at 9 p.m. ET/PT. With over 400 species of sharks, they don’t all live in the warm waters of the tropics — some inhabit the freezing cold waters of the Arctic. And who better to introduce viewers to one our planet’s most unsung sharks than DIRTY JOBS’ Mike Rowe, who travels north to the edge of the Arctic Circle in search of the mysterious Greenland shark.
HOW NOT TO BECOME SHARK BAIT
Premiering Tuesday, July 29, at 10 p.m. ET/PT. Sharks may have a bad reputation, but you actually have a very slim chance of being attacked by one. Viewers learn strategies for staying safe when in the water.
MYSTERIES OF THE SHARK COAST
Premieres Thursday, July 31, at 9 p.m. ET/PT. Australia’s northeastern coast is a hotbed for shark activity. Its tropical seas are home to more species of sharks than anywhere else in the world. But there’s trouble in the sharks’ stronghold Down Under – even here the sharks are disappearing. What’s happening to them?
July 25th, 2008 at 10:47 pm
Na tok ta kid za!
Spelling may be wrong but phonetics are pretty darn close Hunkey!
Since I’m a Hunkey, I can call you a Hunkey. That is what we were called in blue collar Pittsburg suburb, steel town of Homestead/Munhall.
Do you know what it means smart guy?
Did your Polak parent teach you a vinch so you could take advantage of your Polak neighbors the day before Christmas? I still remember my two vinches.
Now go eat some Haluski!
Fun article.
July 26th, 2008 at 6:41 am
OK, I’m confused, but that’s par for my course.
July 26th, 2008 at 8:47 am
Polok, Chek, Slavish, we all got lumped in together.
Translation “Thats the way it goes”
You don’t know Halushki? All mans man ingrediants. About a pound of butter, egg noodles, fried onion and cabbage. It is the bomb.
The vinch was only used the day before Christmas. Tradition had it that that if a young man visited your home the day before christmas with a greeting, it was good luck. So, one learned a vinch in Slavish and visited the old folks in the neighborhood. They would be overjoyed. Then they would typically give you money and some fresh baked treats.
I might have to bring in resident expert Carl Tulanko for some insight and history.
This has nothing to do with sharks, but I don’t care. I enjoy conversing with you Cigar Hunkey.
July 26th, 2008 at 11:36 am
Dude, I’m sure the sharks wpuld love a few thousand pounds of that stuff. I’ll take 500, myself.
July 26th, 2008 at 2:02 pm
The sharks would love you. 2 pounds of this stuffing in your stomach and they would be in shark heaven.
July 27th, 2008 at 12:58 pm
These sharks scare the piss out of me, I watched some of this On Demand lastnight…
Not like when this started 21 years ago, my damn plasma TV made me count my fingers and toes when it was over, btw what the hell are you talking about TbM?
July 30th, 2008 at 7:00 am
watched some on Monday night ………. all I need is a once a year reminder of why I don’t ever swim at night, in the ocean, right off of a reef, while splashing like an injured seal.
The photo’s of these peoples freshly ripped open skin while laying on the operating table was, in a word that isn’t used enough, GNARLY.